Author: Margot Rutigliano, CPT, CHC, Pn2 | Founder of Vita Vie Retreat

Weight loss - it’s a topic that’s on repeat for our discussions here at the retreat. There’s a ton of information out there about weight loss - what to do, the best diet, this one action is the missing piece, macros, eat for your blood type and so on and so on. It’s saturated with information but one thing I’ve come to realize is that weight loss seems to boil down to something that’s inside of us vs coming from the outside. If you’re struggling (and I’ve been there), the key component might be hidden in the words that you say to yourself every single day - “I can’t.”

If there’s one blog post I hope you truly read — and take to heart — it’s this one.

Stop telling yourself you can’t lose weight.

Seriously. Stop saying:

“I’ve tried everything.”
“I’m just not disciplined.”
“I’ll always struggle with food.”
“My metabolism is ruined.”
“It’s too hard with my schedule/family/stress levels.”
“I’ve tried everything and nothing works.”

Those words? They’re not just complaints or passing thoughts. They are commands you’re giving your brain. And your brain listens.

Every time you tell yourself you can’t, or that it’s too hard, or that you always fail, your brain goes to work proving you right. Why? Because that’s how your Reticular Activating System (RAS) works — it filters your reality based on what you believe and what you focus on.

Your RAS only shows you about 1% of what’s actually happening around you. So if you’re constantly thinking, “This is impossible,” your brain will literally filter out solutions, opportunities, and motivation. You won’t see them — even if they’re right in front of you — because your dominant belief tells your brain to ignore them.

Think about that.

If your internal narrative is always focused on struggle and failure, then struggle and failure is all your brain will highlight for you.

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But here’s the truth...

You are not broken. You are not too far gone. Your brain isn’t wired to sabotage you — it’s wired to protect you. And when you live in a state of frustration or self-doubt, your brain thinks it’s helping by keeping you in familiar patterns.

But you can change those patterns. That’s the power of neuroplasticity — your brain can literally rewire itself. It’s science, not fluff. Mindset isn’t just “think happy thoughts.” It’s about creating new mental pathways that change the way you act, the way you eat, the way you move, and ultimately — the way you live.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I’ve lived it. I’ve been in the loop of “nothing works” and “what’s the point?” — and I’ve done the work to shift out of that mindset. And now, because I’m on the other side, I’m passionate about helping others understand that you can change your mind — and change your life.

I’m a total nerd about neuroscience and I’m here to tell you: your thoughts are shaping your reality. This is about more than weight loss. It’s about getting your power back.

So where do you begin?

Start paying attention to your words.
Own your limiting beliefs.
Interrupt the pattern when you catch yourself saying “I can’t.”
Replace it with something true and empowering, like:
- “This is hard, but I’m figuring it out.”
- “I’m learning how to support my body.”
- “I’m not there yet, but I’m moving forward.”

It takes time. It takes repetition. But the more you repeat that new message, the more your brain rewires itself — and the easier your healthy habits become.

Final truth bomb:

Your body will never go where your mind won’t let it.
So let’s start with your mind.
Tell yourself you can — and then take the next step that proves it.