HOW TO TELL SOMEONE THEY NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT

By Margot Rutigliano, Behavioral Health Coach | Updated 2026

If you've found yourself here, chances are you care deeply about someone.

Maybe it's your spouse. Your parent. Your best friend. Your adult child.

You've noticed they're struggling with their health. Maybe they're gaining weight. Maybe they're less active than they used to be. Maybe you worry about their blood pressure, diabetes, mobility, or simply whether they're feeling like themselves anymore.

And you're wondering... Should I say something?

It's one of the hardest conversations to have.

As a health coach, this is something I've thought about a lot. I've worked with people who desperately wanted support, and I've worked with people who felt deeply hurt by comments that were intended to help.

The truth is, weight is incredibly personal. Most people already know they've gained weight. They don't usually need someone to point it out. What they often need is compassion, encouragement, and someone willing to walk beside them—not judge them.

If you're wondering how to support someone you love, here are a few things I'd encourage you to consider.

Before You say Anything…

Ask yourself why you want to bring it up.

Is it because you're worried about their health?

Because you've noticed they're withdrawing?

Because they seem unhappy? Or is it mostly about appearance?

The answer matters because people can usually tell the difference between concern and criticism.

Your motives matter because your communication usually matches what’s behind your concern.

Remember that they probably already know.

People who struggle with their weight generally don't need someone to tell them they've gained weight. They already know.

They see it every morning. They feel it when they climb stairs and they notice how their clothes fit. They don’t need you to remind them.

Many are already carrying around frustration, guilt, embarrassment, or shame. Adding more shame rarely creates motivation.

Feeling supported often does.

So let’s dive into how you can SUPPORT someone with their health and weight loss journey.

5 TIPS TO HELP SOMEONE WITH WEIGHT LOSS

1. Lead by example instead of giving advice.

Rather than telling someone what they should do, let your own healthy habits speak for themselves.

Invite them on a walk.

Cook dinner together.

Ask if they'd like to try a new recipe.

Sometimes the most powerful encouragement isn't a conversation—it's an invitation.

2. Become a partner, not a coach.

Unless they've asked for advice...

Don't become their nutrition expert.

Don't police what they're eating.

Don't comment on every choice they make.

Instead, ask questions like:

"Want to go for a walk after dinner?"

"I'm trying a new healthy recipe tonight if you want to join me."

People are much more likely to make changes when they feel supported instead of monitored.

3. Focus on health—not the number on the scale.

Instead of talking about weight...

Talk about:

More energy
Sleeping better
Feeling stronger
Walking without pain
Lower blood pressure
Less inflammation
Better mobility
Feeling confident
Weight loss may happen.
But health is the bigger picture.

No need to share stats or suggest they’ll feel better if… It’s more of a conversation builder if the subject is on the table.

4. Celebrate healthy behaviors—not body size.

This is HUGE.

Instead of saying: "You look so much thinner!" or “You look like you lost weight.”

Try: "I love seeing how much energy you have." "You seem so much happier lately."

Or maybe: "I know you've been working really hard." "I can tell you're feeling stronger." "You've been so consistent."

This reinforces behaviors...

Not body size.

5. Let them lead when they're ready.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned as a coach is this:

You can't want change more than someone else.

People change when they're ready.

Your job isn't to convince them.

Your job is to love them, encourage them, and be someone they feel safe coming to when they're ready.

Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone isn't advice. It's knowing they'll never be judged by you.

A few more tips below ↓

What if they ask for my help?

This happens often and especially if someone feels comfortable with you.

You could say:

If someone comes to you and says, "I really want to lose weight."

Resist the urge to immediately jump into fixing everything.

Instead, listen.

Ask questions. A few could be…

"How can I support you?"

“What do you think you need help with the most?”

“What do you have in mind for getting to your goals?”

Sometimes people don't need answers.

Sometimes they simply need someone who believes they can do it.

Additional Coach Thoughts

One of the things I've learned after years of coaching is that change almost never begins with criticism.

It begins with feeling seen. Feeling capable. Feeling supported.

If someone in your life is struggling with their health, remember that you don't have to have the perfect words.

You don't have to fix everything.

Often, the greatest gift you can offer is your presence, your encouragement, and your willingness to walk alongside them.

Because real, sustainable change isn't built through shame. It's built through compassion, consistency, and hope.

Ways To Learn & Grow

Body Insights Method - Learn how to work with your body and lifestyle to create sustainable wellness from the inside out.
Mind-Body Lab - A guided wellness membership where you'll learn, practice, and grow with monthly education, challenges, and practical wellness tools.
Personalized Wellness Coaching - One-on-one coaching and a personalized plan designed around your body, goals, and lifestyle.

SAY HELLO TO CUSTOMIZED WELLNESS & WEIGHT LOSS WITH THE BODY INSIGHT METHOD

Real, lasting health isn't about following more rules or restrictions—it's about creating balanced wellness that's unique for your body & your lifestyle.

Whether you want to boost energy, improve overall health or lose weight — you’ll learn to notice your body's unique signals, understand what they're telling you, and create a personalized approach to wellness that fits your life.

Includes:

5 Learning Modules, 12 Week Guided Action Plan, Recipes, Meal Plans, Resources & Tracking Tools

3I Framework for Mindset & Goal Setting
Biofeedback & The 4P’s: Customize for Your Body & Your Lifestyle
The Health First Approach to Metabolism
Mindful & Intuitive Eating
The AIM Method: Awareness, Adaptation & Integration
12 Week Guided Action Plan: Build Your Wellness Roadmap
Recipes & Meal Plans: 650+ Recipes & Meal Plans
Tools & Resources - Habit trackers, reflection exercises, and implementation guides.

Learn More Now: The Body Insight Method

August 2, 2026

Food & Nutrition

Strawberry Rhubarb Chia Oatmeal

As summer starts winding down and routines begin to return, having a few easy breakfasts you can prep ahead can make healthy eating so much easier.

This Strawberry Rhubarb Chia Oatmeal is a simple combination of creamy rolled oats and a naturally sweet strawberry-rhubarb chia topping. It's packed with fiber and made with just a handful of wholesome ingredients, making it a delicious option for busy mornings, back-to-school breakfasts, or meal prep.

And don't feel like you have to stick with strawberries and rhubarb. Once you have the basic idea down, you can use the same chia fruit topping with whatever fruit you have on hand.

Daily Wellness

It's Not Willpower: What Your Cravings Might Actually Be Telling You

A client asked me a question yesterday that I thought was worth sharing because it gets at something I talk about all the time when we’re working on eating habits and sustainable weight loss. Often times, I draw inspiration from questions that I’m asked or certain scenarios that clients present to me. I figure if they’re asking - some of you are wondering too.

She said, “I always want a cookie. There’s a point almost every day when I want one. Is that just a thought distortion, or does it mean I’m weak-willed?”

My answer was simple: that cookie could mean a lot of different things.

And figuring out what it means is much more useful than deciding that you have no willpower.

This is actually what I teach on a daily basis and what I work with clients on - finding the source of the challenge and then learning how to decode it so you can take the steps to move forward.

July 28, 2026

The Real Reason Diets Don't Work

A client told me recently, "I hope this is the one. I've tried everything else."

She was talking about a new high-protein plan. And I've heard some version of that sentence more times than I can count — keto, low-carb, macros, whatever the current program happens to be. There's always this quiet hope attached to it: maybe this is finally the thing that works.

Here's what stands out to me every single time. It's never about the diet.

If you're someone who keeps searching outside yourself for the right diet, the right protocol, the perfect plan — you're probably always going to be searching. Not because you haven't found the right one yet. Because the thing you're actually looking for isn't a plan at all.

July 26, 2026

Why You Keep Getting Stuck At the Same Weight (And What To Do About It)

One of my coaching clients recently said something to me about her journey and I thought the subject of the conversation was worth sharing. I’ve changed some of the information to protect the client but the concepts remain the same.

"I always get to this certain weight... and then I just can't seem to get past it. I always get stuck here, and I really don't want to end up stuck again."

As soon as she said it, something really stood out to me. Not because I didn’t believe her. I absolutely believe her. It had more to do with the way she is thinking than anything else…

Healthy Bang Bang Chicken Skewers

If you're looking for a dinner that's packed with flavor but still simple enough for a busy weeknight, these Healthy Bang Bang Chicken Skewers are about to earn a spot in your regular meal rotation.

Tender grilled chicken is lightly seasoned, brushed with a creamy sweet chili sauce while it cooks, and finished with an extra drizzle just before serving. Paired with grilled asparagus and zucchini, this meal is colorful, satisfying, and full of fresh summer flavor.

One of my favorite things about this recipe is how versatile it is. Enjoy it straight off the grill for dinner, slice the leftovers over a salad for lunch, tuck the chicken into lettuce wraps, or serve it over rice bowls for easy meal prep throughout the week.

July 25, 2026

Constipation on a GLP-1? Here's Why It Happens (and What You Can Do About It)

One of the questions I hear all the time from coaching clients taking GLP-1 medications is:

"Is it normal to feel constipated?"

Or sometimes they'll say,

"I just don't feel...normal anymore."

I’m writing this blog post because I know that, for some people, it can also be a little bit hard to talk about. It might feel a little bit embarrassing to ask. I figured I could create a safe reference point through a blog post so you can get some of your questions answered.

Bruschetta Grilled Chicken with Sun-dried Tomatoes

When the weather is still warm but life starts getting busy again, simple meals that feel fresh, satisfying, and easy to repurpose become some of the best recipes to keep on repeat.

This grilled chicken with sun-dried tomato bruschetta is one of those meals. It's packed with lean protein, colorful vegetables, fresh herbs, and healthy fats, making it just as perfect for a weeknight dinner as it is for meal prep.

One of my favorite things about this recipe is how versatile it is. Serve it with grilled vegetables, rice, or pasta for dinner, then slice the leftover chicken over a salad for lunch the next day or tuck it into a wrap for an easy grab-and-go meal.

If you're looking for a simple Mediterranean-inspired dinner that feels restaurant-worthy without requiring much effort, this recipe is one you'll come back to all season long.

July 23, 2026

Nature as Medicine: Why Stepping Away From Your Daily Routine Can Help Soothe Your Nervous System

Most of us know the feeling. Your shoulders sit somewhere near your ears, your mind races through tomorrow's to-do list before today's is even finished, and your phone buzzes with one more notification demanding attention right now.

This is the baseline for a lot of modern life, and our bodies are paying the price. The nervous system, the intricate network that governs how we respond to stress, rest, and everything in between, was never designed to run at a constant simmer.

There is a simple, research-backed antidote that doesn't require a prescription or a subscription: nature. Stepping outside, even briefly, can shift the body out of a stress response and into a state of genuine rest.

This article explores why that shift happens, what the science says about it, and how you can build small doses of the outdoors into a life that often feels too busy to slow down.

10 Healthy Trader Joe's Meals That Take 10–15 Minutes

July 21, 2026

Food & Nutrition, Daily Wellness

10 Healthy Trader Joe's Meals That Take 10–15 Minutes

One question I get all the time is, "What do you eat when you're busy?"

The answer is that I eat what’s a combination of easy and healthy.

Like many people, I have days where I don't have the time—or honestly, the desire—to spend an hour cooking dinner. That's where Trader Joe's has become one of my favorite places to stock up on simple ingredients that make healthy eating feel realistic. Plus, it’s also a little more budget friendly.

These aren't gourmet meals. They're the quick lunches and dinners I actually make during busy weeks when I need something nourishing on the table in about 10 to 15 minutes.

July 19, 2026

Family-Friendly Healthy Meals: Build Your Own Salad Bar

One of the biggest challenges I hear from many of our health coaching clients is how to stay on track with nutrition while cooking for a family. Eating healthy for a family can get a little tricky. With school, sports, and busy work schedules, dinner can quickly become one of the most stressful parts of the day.

Maybe one child doesn't like tomatoes. Your spouse wants extra protein. You're trying to eat more vegetables and stay on track with your health goals.

If you're tired of making multiple dinners to satisfy everyone at the table, a build-your-own salad bar might be the simple solution you've been looking for.

By setting out a variety of proteins, vegetables, healthy fats, and toppings, each family member can create a meal they enjoy while you only have to prepare one dinner.

Learning Center

Search…

5 Tips: How To Tell Someone They Need To Lose Weight